


My Kingdom For a Changing Table

by KaliopeShipsIt



Series: Alliteration-Verse [10]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: BAMF Sheriff Stilinski, Family Feels, Hint of Discrimination, Kid Fic, M/M, Men's Rooms really should have changing tables, Overprotective Derek, Past Mpreg, Temporary body alteration - Derek can nurse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-11 00:04:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2045307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaliopeShipsIt/pseuds/KaliopeShipsIt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek and Stiles take their four months old baby to the mall for the first time - and promptly get arrested.</p><p>The Sheriff is not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Kingdom For a Changing Table

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not put my stuff on Goodreads. I was not aware that part of my stories were on there and I am not comfortable with having my fan fics circulated out of my control. 
> 
>  
> 
> This wasn't planned it all but then it happened nevertheless.
> 
> Enjoy!

_October 2023_

Getting ready to go somewhere when you had a baby was a skill and in the four months since their daughter’s birth Derek and Stiles had mastered this skill almost to an art form.

And when Stiles said ‘art form’ he meant that they had quickly learned to never the leave the house without a ton of diapers, extra pacifiers, and clothes, even if they were just going to the Sheriff’s house for the afternoon.

It had been a shitty lesson to learn but they had learned it – pun sadly intended, even though Derek had growled when Stiles had first made it, as well as every time since.

However, they had not yet taken her anywhere besides the pack members’ places and therefore both fathers were a bit nervous over taking a trip to the mall with her that day.

It wasn’t that they were trying to hide her from the world, Stiles was, in fact, very eager to show his beautiful baby off to anyone and his colleagues at work had already threatened to call an intervention over the fact that Stiles continued to include new pictures of Leonie in every PowerPoint presentation he prepared for team meetings.

However, Derek was still nursing her exclusively and even though seeing his mate feeding their child was one of Stiles’ most favorite sights in the universe, he realized that the sight of a full-bearded, very masculine man nursing a baby with a pair of rather round breasts might possibly be a little unsettling for the general population.

Of course they could have pumped some of the milk in advance but their werewolf daughter had become very fussy about bottle-feeding lately, refusing it whenever she could sense Derek nearby.

Stiles wasn’t taking it personally that she continually put up a fuss when he tried to feed her since he could understand where she was coming from – if he had been offered the choice between a hard glass bottle and being snuggled against Derek’s chest he would have chosen Derek any day.

Not that Stiles knew what it was like to be nursed by Derek.

Nope, not at all.

Okay, so maybe he was a bit of a pervert, but he still maintained that it had been an accident and absolutely no reason for a horrified Derek to declare everything between his neck and waist a mouth-free zone until further notice.

Stiles considered himself a pretty awesome mate for wanting to make sure that Derek felt good about himself, even if he was currently endowed like an underwear model, but his mate apparently had different ideas.

Derek also wasn’t quite convinced that taking Leonie out to the mall was a good idea, but Stiles had insisted.

He was worried that Derek was going to get hit by cabin fever, since he had essentially been confined to the house – or the pack’s houses – for months, first because of the growing baby inside of him and now because of their still growing baby’s food supply, which Derek was almost unable to conceal without physical discomfort.

Derek was like a mama-wolf in her wolf’s den, which Stiles really didn’t think was healthy, and since it was October now Derek could get away with wearing a bulky coat that would conceal most of his chest adequately enough, as far as his human mate was concerned.

Derek had been nervous when he had first suggested it but Stiles actually did need a new suit for work.

Taking Derek as his personal voice of criticism usually resulted in Stiles being immaculately dressed and so Derek had finally relented.

Not to mention the fact that Derek’s private reactions to him in a suit were always quite satisfactory.

It was only for two hours, three hours max, and Stiles didn’t really see what could possibly go wrong in such a short time.

 

==================

 

Choosing a busy mall for his and Derek’s first ‘big’ trip with their little girl had been a bad idea and it barely took five minutes until Stiles started to silently apologize to Derek in his head for not having listened to his concerns.

Leonie had started whimpering almost the minute they had set foot into the mall, her senses assaulted with the smell of so many strangers – and dubious fast food – and Derek had placed a hand on her tummy to soothe her, walking slowly next to the baby carriage pushed by Stiles.

Derek was tense as well and Stiles was pretty sure he was close to wolfing out whenever a stranger came too close to the carriage.

They should have done this much sooner, he thought with a frown when Derek almost growled at an old lady who had craned her neck to get a peak into the carriage. Leonie had to get used to being surrounded by strangers after all and he knew for a fact that Derek did not want them to be helicopter parents, even though his wolf was obviously having other ideas at the moment.

Stiles had figured that they could pick out a suit for him and then maybe walk around a little, check out some of the little novelty stores to maybe get an early start on the Christmas shopping this year, but Derek looked like he was about to strain something, making it clear that that would not be a good idea.

If he hadn’t needed the suit he would have suggested turning back and going home, but Stiles did have an important conference coming up and the suit was, sadly, a must.

It got a little better once they were actually inside the store, since there were only three customers besides them and the salesman obviously wasn’t interested in cooing over their baby as he took Stiles’ measurements, ignoring her completely and allowing Derek to take Leonie out of the carriage and drape her over his chest, nuzzling the soft hair on her head as he slowly began to relax.

Stiles breathed a sigh of relief when Derek started to comment on the suits, noting with a grin that his mate had very different opinions than the salesman, who was obviously trying not to let his indignation show every time Derek snorted and Leonie let out a happy squeal, being extremely entertained by the noise.

“You and our daughter are being a bit … sassy,” Stiles whispered after the man had waltzed off to select yet another model and Derek huffed.

“He didn’t comment on how gorgeous our baby is, he obviously has no taste,” he muttered and Stiles chuckled.

“Would you have let him hold her if he had gone baby-crazy over her?” he asked teasingly and Derek frowned.

“Of course not! But he was supposed to at least notice!” he insisted and Stiles kissed his temple fondly, before leaning over to nuzzle Leonie’s cheek.

“Papa is a mother-henning _Sappy_ Wolf,” he told her and Leonie grinned, flashing her two shiny new teeth at him before she grabbed at the lapels of his suit jacket and tried to put the fabric into her mouth.

Putting things in her mouth was their daughter’s new favorite past-time activity and Stiles was convinced the poor salesman was about to burst a vein in his temple when he came back into the dressing room area.

“Gentlemen …” he said, sounding pained, and Derek carefully detached Leonie from the suit, kissing her head as he bounced her in consolation for the loss of her new, soft chew-toy.

Twenty minutes later Stiles had made his decision and they were just about to pay for their purchase when the salesman suddenly wrinkled his nose.

The smell wasn’t too bad, since Derek was still breastfeeding her and they hadn’t introduced formula yet, which would have made her poop smellier, but Derek was nevertheless fiercely proud of their daughter for showing the baby-hating salesman exactly what she thought of him.

“Smells like someone needs a new diaper,” Stiles grinned as he pulled out his wallet and Derek shrugged, as if had just now noticed it.

“Does she, really? I didn’t even notice with the overpowering smell of professionalism and elegance hanging in the air,” he mocked, quoting the salesman’s earlier attempts to sell Stiles on the most expensive model they were offering and Stiles had to bite back a grin when the poor man turned bright red in annoyance.

“You realize that I will never be able to show my face in there again, right?” he asked once they had exited the store and Derek shrugged again.

“Do you really want to shop in such a family-unfriendly environment?” he asked pointedly, the glint in his eyes suggesting that the correct answer was ‘no’ and Stiles sighed.

He really _had_ liked that store, but Derek did have a point.

“Princess Leo-Pie does need to be changed though and I don’t think it can wait until we get home, she is about to get _really_ grumpy,” he said in response and Derek nodded, adjusting their wiggling daughter in his arms.

“Let’s go find a restroom and then let’s go home,” he said emphatically and Stiles couldn’t have agreed more.

Ten minutes later _both_ Leonie and her papa were grumpy, the former wailing because she was uncomfortable and the latter because they had been to every men’s restroom in the mall and not one of them had had a changing table.

“What are we supposed to do? Change her over the urinals? That’s not happening!” Derek growled, patting Leonie’s back as her screams got louder and Stiles tore at his hair in frustration.

“Well, we can’t change her in public, someone is bound to take offense to it,” he said, wincing when Leonie let out another loud wail.

“Do they seriously not realize that sometimes men go out with their children as well? What about single fathers? This is messed up!” Derek barked, staring at the ladies’ restroom and the sign with the changing table as if he wanted to burn a hole through the door and Stiles rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“Maybe we should just go home,” he suggested but Derek shook his head firmly, his glare now directed at Stiles.

“I’m not having my daughter be uncomfortable because this mall is sexist! I’ll just go into the ladies’ restroom now and change her there!” he decided and Stiles grabbed his arm immediately, a look of alarm on his face.

“Derek, I really don’t think that’s a good idea, women can’t even breastfeed their kids in public even though the kid is clearly in need, I really doubt that a child in need is an argument for a man potentially perving on women on the toilet!” he argued but Derek shook his head.

“Women should be allowed to breastfeed everywhere!” he grunted in response, shrugging Stiles’ hand off and grabbing their diaper bag as he marched off towards the restroom.

He almost made it to the door when he was suddenly intercepted by a mall cop, who had apparently been attracted by all the screaming.

“Excuse me Sir, I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong door,” he said firmly and now Derek’s glare could have melted ice.

“I need to change my daughter. There is a changing table inside this room and so I’m pretty sure I’ve actually got the _right_ door!” he snapped and the mall cop stepped in front of him, his arms crossed defensively over his chest.

“I’m sorry Sir, but I just can’t allow you to enter this restroom and invade our female customers’ space,” he said and Derek’s eyebrows rose up to his hairline as he stared at the man.

“I don’t think you heard me, which might be because my daughter is currently screaming her head off, but I need to change her diaper,” he repeated and once again the mall cop shook his head in an almost patronizing manner.

“I understand perfectly Sir, but I just can’t allow you to go inside. Rules are rules.”

“You don’t have any changing tables in the men’s rooms!” Derek exploded, jerking his shoulder angrily when Stiles placed his hand on it to calm him down.

“Where am I supposed to change my daughter?!” he barked and the cop sighed.

“Maybe her mother would be able to do it?” he suggested and Stiles stepped forward, grabbing Derek’s arm and holding him firmly, despite Derek’s slight growl.

“We are her parents and as her parents we should be able to change her,” he said calmly and the cop blinked, a small smirk flitting past his lips before he schooled his features back into a bored expression.

“Well I’m deeply sorry, _Sirs_ , but I just cannot allow you to go inside this restroom,” he repeated.

“Do you smell this? My daughter needs a diaper change!” Derek got out through gritted teeth as he thrust Leonie towards the cop and the cop took a step back, his expression turning grim.

“Are you threatening me Sir?” he asked and Stiles waved his hands frantically, trying to diffuse the situation.

“We are not threatening you Sir, we have our _baby_ with us, we just really need to change her diaper! Please, this is an emergency, can’t we just …”

“Rules are rules!” the mall cop repeated, an unfriendly smile on his face now and Stiles didn’t have to look at his mate to know that the werewolf was seething.

“Fine! _Fine!_ ” Derek suddenly hissed and then turned around, marching straight towards the food court.

“Derek? Where are you going?” Stiles hastened to run after him, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when Derek strode right towards a large table in the center of the food court.

“I need a changing table. This is a table. I’m changing our baby. The end!” Derek informed him angrily, one hand placed on their howling daughter’s tummy to secure her while he rummaged in the bag.

“Sir? I must ask you to leave right now, I cannot allow you to change your child in public _and_ where people are eating!” the mall cop’s voice rang out and Stiles looked at Derek pleadingly, aware that a large crowd of bystanders had gathered around them to watch the standoff.

“I’m not leaving, I’m busy changing my baby!” Derek barked and proceeded to do just that, his practiced hands moving swiftly as he freed Leonie from her soiled diaper and began to wipe her clean, carelessly dumping the diaper on the edge of the table.

“Sir! This is your final warning! I will not allow this type of behavior in this mall!” the mall cop barked but Derek ignored both him and his frazzled mate, entirely focused on keeping Leonie on the table since their baby had started to wiggle again, clearly able to smell the anger and anxiety pouring off of her papa in waves.

“You leave me no choice. I’m going to have to ask you to come with me!” the cop suddenly barked, pulling out handcuffs as he stepped towards Derek and Stiles’ eyes widened.

“You’re going to arrest him for changing our baby?” he gasped and the cop nodded, his expression grim as he dangled the cuffs in front of Derek, who had just finished putting a new diaper on Leonie and was now dressing her again.

“Are you going to arrest my baby for indecent exposure, too?” he asked, sounding almost amused as he picked her up and snuggled her against his chest, one hand placed protectively on her head as he held her against him.

“I’m going to need you to put your hands behind your back,” the mall cop said and Derek threw him an incredulous glare.

“You want me to drop my baby?” he asked and the cop reached out his hands, obviously intending to take Leonie from Derek.

Stiles tensed when Derek let out a growl and the cop’s expression turned thunderous.

“Sir, I need you to take the baby so I can arrest _him_ ,” he snapped at Stiles and Stiles crossed his arms over his chest, fixing the man with a death glare of his own.

“You know what, I don’t think so! I think you just tried to take our baby without our permission and that’s not something I can allow you to do, especially not over something as ridiculous as this! We know our rights, this is harassment!” he snapped back, wincing when Leonie started crying again.

Their daughter sounded scared now and he could literally feel the fury wafting off of Derek as he stared at the cop.

“I need you to come with me right now or I’ll have no choice but to call the police and have you arrested for resisting the law!” the mall cop said and Stiles shrugged.

“Well, go ahead, call them. We are not going anywhere with you right now!” he hissed, fighting a triumphant grin when someone in the audience let out a catcall.

“I need you to stay right where you are!” the mall cop growled after he had finished speaking into his walkie-talkie and Stiles was not surprised at all when two other mall cops joined their colleague within minutes, surrounding him and Derek as if they were convicts about to escape.

“Nothing to see here, move along!” one of the new cops barked at the bystanders, while the other whipped out a camera to photograph the diaper on the table, apparently for ‘evidence’.

Derek was holding Leonie in a death-grip as he stared at the three men and Stiles was almost ready to reason with them again when a new voice rang out, sounding incredulous, annoyed and – sadly – exactly like his father’s.

“Would anyone care to tell me why I was just sent to arrest my own _baby-granddaughter_?” the Sheriff barked and the mall cops froze, looking between Derek, Stiles, and the Sheriff in growing horror.

“Sir, we’re sorry Sir, we didn’t … your granddaughter’s diapers were changed in the food court. In public!” the first cop blurted out and Stiles’ father gaped at him.

“In the food court?” he repeated, whirling to stare at Derek and Stiles and Stiles crossed his arms over his chest.

“He wouldn’t let us go into the ladies’ room, we had no choice!” he argued and Derek nodded grimly.

“There’s not one changing table in the men’s room in this entire sorry excuse of a mall!” he added and Stiles’ father sighed deeply, before he turned towards the three mall cops.

“I feel like these two men were forced to act under extenuating circumstances and I _also_ feel like we should just let this one go, wouldn’t you agree?” he said firmly, authority clear in his voice.

“But Sir, we …” one of the cops protested but Stiles’ father just cocked his head, his eyebrows rising as he regarded the three men.

“I think this might have been big misunderstanding,” the flustered cop finally allowed and the Sheriff smiled dangerously, nodding towards the diaper that was still lying on the table.

“I will escort these men out right now and I trust you will take care of this mess?” he said and Derek had to bite his cheek to keep from grinning when the mall cop picked up the diaper with a look of utter resignation and disgust on his face.

He should have known that man had never had kids.

 

=================

 

“So … since when is the Sheriff of Beacon Hills called in to settle diaper disputes in malls?” Stiles asked when they were standing outside and the Sheriff grunted, fixing them both with an accusatory glare.

“Call me paranoid, but when I heard the call about two rowdy men with a baby on the scanner, one of which was apparently a member of a dangerous gang, I had a hunch. I wasn’t wrong, was I?” he said, holding out his arms for Leonie, his expression suggesting that he didn’t want to hear another word.

“I thought I was done arresting your fathers but clearly I was being too optimistic. Congratulations on your first almost-arrest Leo-Pie, you beat your papa by a couple of years, you should be proud,” he told the baby once Derek had handed her over and now both of her fathers had the good grace to look a little guilty.

“We were not in the wrong,” Derek mumbled and Stiles nodded.

“We could have maybe been more polite about it but our actions were justified,” he agreed and the Sheriff kissed the baby’s temple, shaking his head at her with a mournful expression on his face.

“Please don’t take after your daddy and papa, you should take after me, the only upstanding citizen and voice of reason in this family,” he told her gravely and even though he was clearly trying to stay grumpy at his son and son-in-law he couldn’t suppress the huge smile that blossomed on his face when Leonie let out a tiny yawn and then snuggled into his arms before she fell asleep.

“Can we take this little rascal home now?” Stiles whispered with a huge grin and Derek nodded.

“Yes, let’s go home. And let’s stay there. Forever,” he muttered, ignoring the matching looks of amusement on both Stilinski men’s faces.

He really didn’t want to hide Leonie away from the world – but a couple more months certainly couldn’t hurt.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Now I fully acknowledge that this mall cop's reaction might be a little unrealistic (unrealistic, fan fiction, go figure, lol!) but I do feel that men's rooms need changing tables ;-).


End file.
